Are you looking for an exciting job opportunity with a progressive organization? Rankandfile.ca is hiring a student intern. We know it is a tough world out there for students and young workers. Mounting debt and few job opportunities means most young people in Canada will struggle to find work. For those of you who have the ambition for paid work, but the wisdom to realize this is a pipe dream, we have the job for you.
The Intern will:
- Do what we say;
- Get coffee, food and alcohol for all of the editors;
- Routine filing;
- Write and edit articles that appear under editors byline (special attention should be paid to the plight of young workers);
- Be responsible for the daily updating of the website;
- Manage all of our social media platforms;
- Take the blame for any mistakes in the office;
- Develop a comprehensive fundraising plan to ensure editors maintain lavish lifestyle;
- Clean the office;
- Unquestioningly agree with Doug Nesbitt’s drunken rants about the Leafs; and
- Perform other duties as assigned.
The qualifications for this position are:
- Absolute ignorance of the Employment Standards Act;
- Strong interpersonal skills, including the exercising of tact, discretion and judgement at all times;
- Willingness to take orders with a smile;
- Work as though the job paid actual money;
- Ability to memorize coffee, food and booze orders;
- Excellent communications skills, both oral and written;
- Aspire to have paid work, but understand the realities of the modern job market;
- Ability to organize/prioritize a multi-task workload, take initiative and be flexible;
- Willingness to take blame when your or any of the editors’ initiatives fail;
- A belief that the meaningless skills learned at internship are relevant to future career;
- Capacity to work in a self-directed manner while maintaining ability to work in a completely top down structure; and
- Truly believe in all workers’ rights, except for your own.
Rankandfile.ca is a progressive trade union news website. We aim to provide readers with factual and informative labour news, help build solidarity for workers in struggle and contribute to the building of rank-and-file labour networks. We are an equal opportunity employer (exploiter).
Our unpaid internship is a great chance to learn about the importance of labour rights and the union movement in Canada. There is no better way of understanding the importance of the collective rights of workers than by having your own rights trampled on.
If interested please email us at firstname.lastname@example.org and include the subject line “Application: April Fools Internship”.
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